the dying leaves; shadows

It was somewhere around twelve A.M.; and somewhere between the loud music, the perfectly mixed drink, and conversation that I smiled through, the persona was born. She.
I had said how I had stopped drinking previously, but sitting in a bar was just the push I needed to ‘reward myself’ for the amount of time that I had suppressed her.

‘Order a drink. It won’t hurt.’ She says to me.

I listen. And She is resurrected after months of being hidden deeply in the shadows.
She drinks, and She smiles. and She laughs along to the conversation that She cannot hear, even with men who are much older than She is. She is an amazing actress, drawing anyone She desires near to her. She has become a master of foolery. She gazes at you deeply, subtly batting her lashes to you. She begins to hold eye contact and smile, as you go on to her about whatever it is that you think She wants to hear, when in reality, She has already exited the conversation.

“What do you want to drink?” She hears.

Alas, more magic words that fuel her. She slightly puckers to a smile. Just as She planned, you are drawn in to her perfectly timed gaze in which She ‘guesses’ a drink order, while She wonders how many times you have walked into a situation like this.
She gets everything She wants, and more.
She whimpers slightly, voicing concern about your safety when She, could care less. She sighs and pouts to you, and without ever physically touching, She seductively gets you into her passenger seat… all while you are completely unaware that it was at the command of others to ensure that you don’t crash a vehicle that you don’t own.
She tells you how you’re the only one She has been able to open up to, when in reality, it’s a cliche line that She has rehearsed well with many men before you.
She tells you that She is proud of you, and how amazing of a person you have been, because your support was what She needed… when She is just coaxing you for another evening out together on your wallet. She thrives on the thought that you could be so unaware. “It’s so easy,” She says, “Pout here, tight pants here, and voila! How could they be so ignorant?!” She says aloud, laughing and smiling to herself on the drive home.

She tucks herself comfortably into the bed in which She sleeps alone in. She thinks back to a time when She was surrounded with love, support, and the security of a man who knew better than to fall into the trap of the ‘Shes’ that surrounded him. But, those times are over, She thinks.
And now, her only agenda is ensuring that She repays every one for the years of pain that She felt from the mistakes She made, and the actions She chose to take, that ended her up in a home filled with loneliness.


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